


string theory

by graceana



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, and fate (◠‿◠✿), i cant help myself im sorry, i have absolutely no idea how football works im sorry, there is minor smitten and pining zayn for liam, this is like a really cliche thing i guess you could say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 02:22:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceana/pseuds/graceana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>au. louis buzzes with something and glows with another.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>The last few players are trickling off the bus when Louis looks down at his hands to see that he is pretty simply put, glowing gold,” Aww what the fuck is this shit. Is it that noticeable?” He whines, doesn’t even make a big deal out of it like it’s a normal thing that should be happening right now. </em></p><p>aka. a cliche soulmatey-fate thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	string theory

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is so cliche probably in so many ways and i told myself i was  _not_ going to go there but i did and here this is. this idea basically came from me being a spastic person and talking to myself alot and a post or two on tumblr concerning soulmates and how they feel the others emotions even if they dont know each other or something. 
> 
> the plato and aristotle things in here are real actually just an fyi but the 'case' thing is not i must say. 
> 
> string theory is this thing in astronomy/physics that says multi-universes can exsist like bubbles in a bathtub -fun fact- [here's](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYAdwS5MFjQ&list=PL_JNH0TOWyxvHThXESD92O7jdM54jhODI&index=13) a video if you want to hear a professional explain it. 
> 
> like always i edited this but if there are still some mistakes i apologise! 
> 
> enjoy ! .x 

_I exist in two places,_

_here and where you are._

margaret atwood, _selected poems_  

 

★★★

 

Louis doesn’t really know how to explain it, never really has.

There’s this underlying current in his veins that course with something unbelievably strong. It’s electric. It makes his skin buzz and tingle every day. Sometimes it’s so strong and so noticeable to the point where he can’t focus on anything else but the radiant energy humming under his skin like a lightning bolt. 

It’s always been there within him, the current that courses through his veins, but he’s never really questioned it because he’s just so used it. Sometimes he’ll wonder if anyone else feels the same thing but then he’ll shrug it off and kick the ball back over to Zayn and it’s like nothing has crossed his mind.

Occasionally there are times where he thinks the buzz has stopped causing him unexplainable panic attacks because this thing that has been with him, under his skin, and burrowing in his bones for his whole life is gone. But then he’ll take a breath and concentrate and its back like it never left in the first face.

Other times he’ll get unexpectedly happy, or sad, or something like there’s this big thing he’s forgetting and it’s confusing in so many ways but in others it’s exhilarating and he’ll live for the moments when it happens because it’s like he’s feeling what someone else it feeling. Like he’s Prue fro Charmed in the one episode where she could feel other’s emotions.

He never questions it because it feels so nice. It’s like sitting in front of a warm fireplace with hot chocolate in the winter when you’ve just come inside from playing in the snow or the first bite of the warm freshly baked apple pie straight from the oven. It’s like Christmas and your birthday combined with all the other special days in the year.

It’s foreign but its home.

He still doesn’t know what it is, or what it means but sometimes it’s like he does.

★

The first time where the buzz becomes physically painful is when Louis is 10 years old.

He’s in his backyard playing footie with Zayn. They’ve been at it all afternoon with the sun beating down in bright rays that shine off their faces, tanning them a shade darker. The sky is cornflower blue with white puffy clouds creating all kinds of shapes drifting by. The grass is green with muddy tracks from where they’re cleats have dug in from kicking the ball back and forth.

Zayn’s just scored in there make shift goals of rocks and plant pots so Louis’ got his game face on as he lines up for a kick that should go straight through Zayn’s knobbley knees and into his goal causing them to tie.

He focuses on the one pentagon of black as he brings his foot back and aims. He checks one more time sees Zayn in typical goaly stance with his legs spread and hangs ready to swat away the ball as he kicks with all his might.

The moment the ball goes through Zayn’s legs Louis falls to the ground and is clutching his right forearm to his chest and crying out in pain.

Zayn comes running over,” Louis you alright?” He asks voice panicked and eyes bugging out of his head.

Louis nods but doesn’t respond because his voice will come out cracked with tears.

“I’m going to get your mum.” Zayn says rushing over to the patio door and flinging it open shouting,” Mrs. Tomlinson I think Louis’ hurt!”

A moment or so later Louis is getting shifted up into his mothers’ arms.

“What’s wrong honey?” She asks voice sweet with sugary tea and eyes soft with concern.

“My arm.” His lower lip wobbles.

“Let’me see.” She motions for him to show her his arm.

He slowly extends it away from his chest so his mother can check it out.

She turns it, bends it, pushes on it and he doesn’t react in any way because it feels back to normal no more sharp pains or bruising tenderness to it.

“What happen?” She asks the two boys.

“He was kicking the ball to me and then he just fell over and held his arm.” Zayn rushes out clear concern for his friend written all over his face.

“Well,” She turns his arms over and back on more time,” It seems fine. There’s no bruise or anything.”

Louis’ barely focused on whatever is coming out of his mothers’ mouth because of the slow sleepiness that’s starting to take over him. He almost panicked in thinking the buzz was gone but it’s there, low and humming under him has his eyelids start to droop.

“’M tired.” He mumbles into his mums’ chest.

He hears Zayn yawn and his mother say something about if he’s staying over or not, he must shake his head because before Louis knows it he’s on the couch with a blurry Zayn waving his hand goodbye in front of his face.

★

Later that day when he wakes up to the sky being dark and the stars being out he vaguely remembers his dream of white walls and something heavily plastered around where his arm was hurting him before but when he lifts his arm expecting to find a cast or _something_ he sees nothing but a smudge of dirt and a _feel better_ scribbled in pen that Zayn must’ve done when his mum wasn’t paying attention.

He gets up and walks out to the kitchen where his Mum asks how he’s feeling he nods and sits at the table as she makes him a sandwich because he slept right through dinner.

She comes over and places the simply made peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of him. She runs a hand through his short hair,” You sure you alright love?”

He shrugs,” Still feel a bit tired.” He takes a bite, chews and swallows.

“I hope you’re not getting sick.” She hums with the back of her hand on his forehead and then her pursed lips checking him for a temperature.

He finishes off his sandwich, kisses him mum goodnight and then heads upstairs to his bedroom.

He strips down and then puts on his Superman pajama bottoms.

Before he lies down he grabs the black notebook his dad gave him to color in. He’s not exactly sure why, but then again he’s not sure of a lot of things. He writes the date across the top and then scribbles down ‘ _hurt arm but not hurt arm playing footie with Zayn. Slept the rest of the day. dreamed of heavy cast arm’_ On the page, closes it sticks it on the shelf on his bedside table and falls asleep the minute his head hits his pillow.

★

By the time Louis’ 12 nearly half the notebook is full with the dates every since he started it. Most share pages with shorthanded things of what he felt like “super excited” he wrote that on the Christmas when he first started it.

Sure every kid is excited on Christmas and Louis was but that morning it was like dynamites were bursting through his body with the sheer joy that was bustling through him for almost no reason.

Sometimes when things are super strong he gets dizzy with it and actually has to sit down or take a nap because of the force behind it. Those days when he writes them down he takes the foam star stickers that his Mum uses for scrapbooking and sticks them near the date.

“Louis?” His mum asks him one day when he’s sitting in his room doing god awful maths homework.

“Hmm.” He asks wordlessly trying to figure how the hell you find ‘x.’

“Darling what’s this?” She walks over the black notebook in hand with a fragile look on her face. She looks soft with her black hair pulled back into a loose bun and her plum jumper hanging over her small frame.

When he notices that she has his notebook in hand his eyes get comically wide for a split second before he rearranges his features into something of nonchalance and takes it from her, nearly snatching.

“Nothing.” He tucks the notebook at the very bottom of his maths book and notebook. He curses himself silently for leaving that thing downstairs.

“Louis.” She says with that motherly stern voice that says she knows something’s up but he’s not telling her. He wonders how people can eject such emotion or meaning into someone’s name.

“It’s really nothing.” He reassures with a small smile.

She shakes her head with her own knowing smile plastered on her face,” Lou you’ve still got 2 months before you’re an actual teenager please don’t start with the secrets.” She’s laughing as she says it walking back out of his room and downstairs.

He doesn’t reply just pulls the notebook out from the bottom and decides to leave his maths homework for later.

He walks over to his bed and sits on the navy blue sheets with the Spiderman throw blanket overtop, because really no one is ever too old for Spiderman or any superhero for that matter. He doesn’t do this often but sometimes he’ll just get this feeling. It’s not the buzz more like a sense of wonder as to what this all means. He opens the notebook to the first page and starts to read.

Before he knows it he’s lying with his head where his feet go on his bed, the night sky dark with black but bright with the moon shinning in through his window. Every time he rereads an entry it’s like he’s reliving the moment that it happened in. He runs his fingers over the foam stars and starts to drift off to sleep.

★

 “Alright mate you’re really freakin’ me out.” Zayn says one Saturday night when they’re at his house.

They’re in his room playing FIFA but had to pause because Louis could not keep still and kept messing up and letting the computer score. He’s giddy and so so so smiley he doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

The buzz is super strong, coursing though him like he imagines alcohol would but this he thinks is probably much better with the way it making his head fuzzy. Even if he tried to form sentences he’s not really sure how coherent they would come out so he just looks over to Zayn with an elastic smile stretched across his face. His blue eyes are shining brightly in the dim light.

“Dude, what is up with you?” Zayn asks with an accusing voice like Louis’ on something but he’s not.

He shrugs his shoulders.

Zayn leans closer and squints his eyes as he looks into Louis’,” I think there was something in the food because I swear to god Louis your eyes are glowing fucking green.”

Louis starts to giggle, actually _giggle_ because one; they’re 14 and have now started to swear when there aren’t adults around and that’s cool right?  And two because he’s just so happy he feels like a balloon about to burst or a bubble that’s about to pop.

He gets up on jelly legs and walks over to the mirror he has above his dresser and looks at his eyes. Zayn isn’t lying his eyes look like they’ve got more green in them today. It’s like his eyes are a lake with algae resting on top, it comes and goes.

When he sits back down and they get back to their game he gets this sudden rush of nerves as his fingers fumble with the controls. His giddy demeanor is completely wiped away when his player gets the ball in the game and he can’t even hit the right button.

Zayn pauses the game again and touches a hand to Louis’ elbow, comforting,” Y’alright?”

Louis blinks with dazed eyes and a knotted stomach.

“Come on.” Zayn says helping him up and down the short hallway to the bathroom. He stands in front of the toilet and looks at the sterile white color in the harsh fluorescent lighting before he’s shooting forward and gripping the sides throwing up whatever food they had ate early.

Zayn rubs circles on his back and Louis’ suddenly very thankful for a friend like him. Zayn steps away a moment to grab him a washcloth and wets it under the tap handing it to him when he stands up. He stands in front of the mirror and looks at himself.

He’s pale, almost all of his tanned color is drained from his face and the algae that was sitting atop his eyes is now washed away by blue tides.

He realises for the very first time that he’s terrified of what this stupid buzz is doing in him and if it’s normal he doesn’t know what to do because he _never_ does and starts to sob into Zayn’s encompassing arms.

He shushes him and leads him back to his room and tucks him into bed. He goes around and shuts the play station off and climbs into bed with him.

“Thank you.” He whispers and he has a feeling that this won’t be his last time he’s thanking him for something like this.

★

That night Louis dreams of bright lights in his face with a crowd cheering and clapping loudly as he lowers himself into a bow.

It goes black for a moment before the bright lights are back in his face with music coming from behind him and he can vaguely make out singing but he’s not sure of what.

It reminds him of one of his sisters choir concerts.

When he wakes up he writes down everything from his algae eyes to throwing up to the bright lights of his dreams. He grabs 2 foam stars from the shelf on his nightstand and places them next to the date. Before he closes the notebook he bites his lip before scribbling down _scared_ right next to them.

★

Thankfully the buzz gets very faint and low after That Night and his 15th year of living. It’s still there but it’s not as strong and his notebook pages stay strangely bare and blank.

He’s not sure what scares him more the fact that this feeling, this fireplace in his chest and lighting in his veins can affect him physically or that it’s slowly dissipating.

If it ever fully left he’s not sure how he’d cope if he’s telling the truth.

What does someone do when something they’ve had, something that’s been with them their whole life leaves them?

★

 “Fucker fuck, _fuck_.” Louis hisses when he walks out of History.

He’s just had one of the hardest tests of his entire life he’s pretty sure and he’s almost positive he’s failed. Great.

“Tommo. You stayin’ after for football try-outs?” Stan yells over to him.

He waves his hand over his shoulder and shouts a short yea before making his way over to his locker where Zayn is already waiting of him so they can head off to lunch.

When he walks up Zayn is staring off over his shoulder at the group of girls in too short skirts and too tight shirts making their boobs bust out. Louis rolls his eyes.

“Dude.” He says annoyed.

“What’s up your arse?” Zayn scoffs and fixes his bag over his shoulder.

 _“It’s what’s not up my arse.”_ Louis thinks for a moment before shaking his head and wide eyeing at himself for a moment.

“Fucking history. I’m gonna fail.” He complains and pulls his beanie over his head.

“You’ll be fine.” Zayn deadpans and stares at a brunettes’ bum as she walks by she throws him a smile over her shoulder.

Louis rolls his eyes again surprised they don’t pop out and roll out of the school and into the drain outside.

As they walk out of the school and start towards Louis’ house where they usually spend their after school time Zayn stops Louis with a hand on his shoulder,” Hey, no but seriously you okay? You’ve seemed a little off lately?”

 _No,_ He thinks,” I’m fine.” He says plastering on a fake smile that he knows Zayn can read through on his face.

He’s horrible. He’s never felt so bad in his entire life if he truly thinks about it.

It’s almost as if there’s this huge black cloud over his head pouring down huge rain droplets and booming with thunder. They’re should be cracks of lighting too but there’s not. The lighting courses through him like a circuit but that’s the thing the lighting isn’t in his veins either.

It’s been missing for almost 2 months and as unsurprising as it sounds Louis as no clue what to do or how to feel about it. It’s like a piece of him was physically cut out and shipped off somewhere else in box labeled “Louis Tomlinson’s Mojo/Buzz.” Whatever it was because he’s been bitter and even more of a sarcastic asshole than he usually is.

He could blame it on the whole being 16 thing, maybe even the whole coming to terms about how he seems to like boys too, maybe just a little. He doesn’t know but there’s this block on his mind like something’s been tied and locked of so he can’t reach it.

His notebook sits scarily blank in his bag on his shoulder. There’s smudges of black ink when he thought he might have felt something but that’s all they are smudges of inklings he’s had over the last two months but in the end it just ends up being hopefully thoughts of something he can’t explain.

“Louis?” Zayn waves a hand in front of his face.

He turns to him and blinks, draws his eyebrows together,” Were you just talking to me?” He asks.

“Yea I was reminding about tryouts seeing as we both just forgot and walked about half way home.” Zayn says laughing at himself.

Louis laughs too but his heart isn’t in it.

★

He tells Zayn first.

He doesn’t plan to it just sort of comes out because Zayn is saying how he has a date with some girl on Saturday and how Louis should double date with one of her friends and when Zayn is pulling out his phone to text the girl to set him up with someone he just blurts,” I’m gay.” Then he clasps both hands over his mouth and ironically runs straight into his closet. He stands with his back to the door so Zayn can’t open it.

There’s no movement for a few moments before Louis hears Zayn get off the bed and walk over to the closet jiggling the handle and trying to open the door,” Louis did you just come out to me and then run right into your closet?” There’s a hint of amusement in his voice but it’s not judgmental just lightly fond.

“Yes and I would quite like to stay in here if that’s alright.” He responds in a whisper.

Zayn chuckles,” Mate I don’t care if you like guys. If that’s what you like then that’s what you like.” He can almost see Zayn shrug his shoulders.

He opens the door a crack to see Zayn with a soft look on his face,” Come on.” He beckons voice matching his expression like he’s calling out a scared child, which in all reality let’s face it he is.

Louis creeps out until he’s in front of the door and looks down at the floor with almost an ashamed look on his face. Zayn’s socked feet enter his line of downcast vision before there’s a slim finger lifting up his chin making him look Zayn in the eyes.

“Louis don’t be ashamed of who you are okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m pretty sure if the right guy came along I could swing that way as well okay.” He smiles reassuringly. It eases Louis’ stomach a little, but not much.

They walk back over to the bed and sit there staring out into space for few minutes letting the silence blanket over them comfortably.

“Wanne sleep over.” Louis deadpans.

Zayn shrugs his shoulders,” Sure.”

It’s nearly 10 p.m but there both under the covers and drifting off when Louis feels it and smiles into the pillow.

It’s back.

★

It’s the first dream he’s had that’s stood out in a while, just like the cast and almost concert like one he had.

It’s fairly dark out and there’s a bridge leading over a small stream to a tree with candles lining it. He’s just sort of watching as he sees a girl and boy near the tree. They’re talking in hushed tones that he can’t hear but a moment later the girl is walking away with a track of tears running down her face.

Louis doesn’t move, can’t really. He’s stationed in his observatory spot and watches the boy slide down the tree and rest his head on his knees. He wants to walk over there and console the boy but he can’t so he looks back over to where he can see the girls figure getting smaller and smaller and instead of Louis feeling upset for the two he feels vaguely giddy.

(He wakes up in a dazed state at 4 a.m but grabs his notebook and sleepily scribbles down everything he can remember next to the date.)★

Louis’ whole life goes down the drain (or so he thinks) about 3 weeks into the football season.

There at practice, which is pretty useless in a sense, because they’ve all been on the same team since they were all about 10; they can work around each other beautifully so they spend practices trying to hit the ginger, Justin, in the nuts with the ball. He’s goaly after all so he guesses in some sadistic way it is practice.

At first it’s only strange looks which he just knits his eyebrows at and smiles confusedly at the boys on his team. But then it becomes whispers and looks and then there’s a group of about 4 boys who come up to him and start throwing slurs around like there snowballs.

He’s frozen in his spot and looks down at the ground fiercely. He’s usually always the one to stick up for himself or anyone for that matter but he just can’t because even though how these boys, the ones he’s known for almost 6 years of his life, who are on his team, are saying it with venom in their words there all _true_ to an extent.

Zayn rushes over then, his hair floppy from sweat on his forehead. Louis isn’t sure what he says to them because everything is white noise and there’s this ache in his chest like something rotting. He’s never felt anything like it before.

The constant buzz that runs through him is strong but it’s different than anything else he’s every felt before. Instead of a fire inside his chest it’s like one that wraps around his whole body in a hug as if to say ‘I’m here’ but when he opens his eyes it’s just Zayn hugging him and that’s even better than the buzz but there’s just _something_ inside Louis that wants the furnace hug instead of Zayn’s slender arms.

“How’d they know.” He exhales a shaky breath.

Zayn shakes his head,” I don’t know. Have you told anyone else?”

Louis shakes his head then snaps his eyes up and narrows them at Zayn,” Did you tell anyone?” He accuses.

Zayn rolls his eyes,” Do you really think I would tell people something like _that_ about my best mate, especially those arseholes.” He says pointedly.

Louis looks away and mutters,” Right.”

★

The locker room after that is so tense you could cut through it with not only a knife but probably a drop of water.

There’s chatter but it’s all on the right side to as where it would normally be the whole room but everyone, except Zayn and another boy Liam who Louis smiles thankfully at, moves there things over to that side.

Coach walks in and tells them that they’ll be traveling to Holmes Chapel next week to play a team up there. Louis rolls his eyes they always beat Holmes Chapel so he doesn’t even see the point in playing them.

After Coach dismisses them Liam walks over to Louis and Zayn who are waiting outside the gym for Trisha to pick them up because it started to pore right after practice got out.

“Hey.” He says shyly, big browns eyes round with kindness and smile appeling his cheeks. His hair is sort of Justin Bieber like but Louis really doesn’t have room to talk.

“Hi.” Louis says.

Liam rubs the back of his neck,” I sort of feel the need to apologise for those guys because you didn’t deserve to have those things said to you.”

Louis looks at him in awe and then turns to look at Zayn whose mouth is hanging open and eyes wide. Louis shakes his head fondly then steps forward and hugs Liam without warning making him flinch at the sudden contact but then he wraps his arms around him.

“Thank you.” Louis whispers.

Liam nods as he pulls away and watches as a blue car pulls up,” Well that’s my dad. I’ll see you lads tomorrow.” He says it as a statement and Louis really doesn’t mind adding Liam to their duo and when he looks over to Zayn he doesn’t think he minds either.

★

That night Louis sits on the big window seat he has in his room and looks up at the sky.

It’s a surprisingly clear night with the stars twinkling above making their constellations and patterns in the sky. The trees sway slightly in the breeze with the crickets chirping lightly in the background.

Even though he’s feeling pretty shit at the moment for someone being outed in school when he looks up at the moon and sees it smiling down at him, bright white and in stark contrast against the night sky, he thinks that maybe someone somewhere else, whether it be two hours, two miles, or two countries away is looking at the same moon.

Somehow it’s like he can feel it.

When he walks over to his bed he grabs a foam star and opens his notebook and scribbles down the date. He doesn’t write any feelings or anything like he usually does because the constant buzz is the same but for some reason it feels a little different so when he takes off the thin paper from the back of the star and sticks it to the paper it feels like one of the most important moments of his life.

★

On game day they all wear their white and black jerseys throughout the school day. It’s a thing that they’ve always done for as long as Louis can remember.

At the end of the day they all meet in the locker room to change into their whole uniform and pack their bags to head onto the bus. Louis and Zayn share a middle seat and Liam sits in the seat in the front of them and places his bag next to him so he’s by himself.

He turns around so he can talk to Louis and Zayn as the bus drives the hour or two up to Holmes Chapel. It’s probably the farthest they play during the whole season and like he said before he doesn’t really understand why when they win each time.

 

“30 minutes!” Coach yells after Louis, Zayn and Liam have covered all basic bus subjects in getting to know Liam. He’s a cool lad Louis thinks and if Zayn blushes sometime when Liam looks at him then Louis isn’t going to tease (in the sense that he is going to tease.)

They go over a bump that shakes the whole bus,” Whoa.” Louis says bringing an arm out to hold at the back of the seat in front of him. He brings his other hand up to cover his eyes like he’s got a headache.

“You okay?” Liam asks and Louis can just see the look of concern on his face by the way his voice sounds.

“Yea, just got really dizzy is all.” He says pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Here.” Zayn says shoving a water bottle and granola bar in his hand because they’ve all learned to always have at least those two things in their bag after so many years of playing.

He drinks the water slowly and eats the granola bar even slower. He barely finishes half of it before there pulling up to the all too familiar school. Louis’ heart jumps in his chest, his stomach tightens and explodes with unfamiliar butterflies, his eyes shining like stars themselves.

“Whoa.” Liam says as he looks at Louis with wide eyes.

Louis furrows his brows at him and turns to Zayn to see that he’s giving him the same look,” What?” He snaps.

“Mate you’re like glowing.” Zayn whispers.

“Oh shove it.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“No mate this is like that time your eyes were glowing don’t you remember that? When you got sick afterwards? Just literally it looks like you have a golden halo around you.”

The last few players are trickling off the bus when Louis looks down at his hands to see that he is pretty simply put glowing gold,” Aww what the fuck is this shit. Is it that noticeable?” He whines, doesn’t even make a big deal out of it like it’s a normal thing that should be happening right now.

Zayn,” Well no one really looked at you so guess not.” He says.

They usher off the bus and walk over to the team huddle outside. Coach is giving his pregame speech that they hear every game of every season.

No one bats an eyelash even when they do the group ‘cheer’ which is basically them putting their hands in and saying some stupid thing Coach made up. It’s stupid but it gets them all pumped and ready to play.

As they head over to the bleaches where they put their bags Zayn nudges Louis,” You’re brighter than the fucking sun.” He whispers.

“Aww Zayn you’re so- _oof_.” Zayn elbows Louis in the ribs.

“No dude you got _brighter_.” He clarifies.

Sure enough when Louis looks down at his hands he’s glowing like the sun in the sky. It’s not even a pure gold, its gold with specks of green running through it. There not super noticeable but Louis can see them.

“Fucking hell what is this.” He moves his hand and arm trying to shake it off.

Liam and Zayn shrug,” No one else really seems to notice.”

“I don’t know how when I look like a fucking light bulb.” He mutters, frustrated.

“Just go with it I guess.” Zayn says as they start running laps.

They’re all reacting pretty calmly to this to say the least. It’s not every day that someone starts to actually glow with a hue of light around them but here Louis is running laps on game day with a yellow and emerald speckled like around him.

The best part of it is that no one even does a double take.

 

When the Holmes Chapel team walks out Louis immediately does mental inventory of the players he remembers and then adds in any newbies.

He sees Niall Horan, number 13 goaly, with his blonde tipped hair walking over with a slightly smaller boy who looks like he’s just joined the team by the nerves that Louis can practically _feel_ emitting off of him.

His hair is a mess of curly brown hair and he sort of looks like a baby chipmunk, maybe like Theodore from that Chipmunks Christmas movie he thinks briefly.

He finds him minorly adorable.

Before the boy sits down he turns with his back towards them and lifts one of his shoes to tie it on the bench. Their jerseys are solid blue with white numbering, his reads Styles number 12.

In the time that is takes Louis to open his eyes back up from a blink he feels like his insides explode. It’s like the gentle Christmas fireplaces gets turned up all the way, the mini sun that’s inside his chest going red giant and then supernova until all its stardust is bursting through him.  

“Holy fuck!” Zayn nearly shouts.

Louis whips his head to face him nearly straining his neck before he sees the wild look on Zayn and Liam’s faces’. He can _see_ the glow reflecting off of them.

He looks down at his hands and nearly screams because it looks like he’s on fire.

“What do I do!!” He shouts at Liam and Zayn who are bug eyed and confused.

“I don’t know!” They shout at the same time.

“Tomlinson!” Coach shouts, Louis swallows hard.

“Yea.” He squeaks.

“Quit yelling and get up, you, Payne, and Lucas are starting offense. Malik, Shelley, Devine and Hensley are on defense.

They all nod and run out to the pitch getting in their positions.

Louis’ in the middle with the kick off, Zayn to his right and Stan to his left.

Styles comes up and stands in front of him, Cuthbert and Hamblett on his left and right side. They shake hands sending a spark done Louis’ spine. When they’re eyes meet Styles’ are wide and alert like Louis’ on fire and well.

Louis knits his brows at him and calls ‘heads’ as the ref throws the coin up.

He mouths ‘You’re glowing’ at Louis and Louis barely registers when the ref calls it’s his ball and counts him in to start the game.

When the ball lands at his feet he quickly kicks it towards Zayn who runs it done the field and kicks it to Stan.

Louis isn’t really paying much attention throughout the whole game but a little more than halfway through when he and Zayn are sitting on the bench sipping greedily at their water bottles he watches as Styles runs the ball towards their goal but Liam quickly kicks it out and sends it halfway across the field so Stan sidekicks it into the goal making it 1-0 them.

“You’re lighter.” Zayn says a moment later as everyone resets on the field.

Louis turns to him with a confused look.

“You’re still glowing but it’s softer not as strong.” He clarifies.

Louis shrugs like ‘what can you do?’

When he looks back on the field Styles has the ball again winding through the defense and lining up for a nearly perfect kick into the goal and Louis thinks that, considering he’s pretty small and a first year on this team, he’s doing pretty well.

Louis can see his mistake the moment he steps forward missing the ball with his kick and rolling his ankle over falling over himself right onto his knee.

Styles clutches at his left leg the moment that Louis’ leg starts to hurt so bad it feels like it’s broken.

“Ahh _fuckk_.” He says grabbing at his ankle.

“What?” Zayn looks over to him with wide questioning eyes.

“Fuck man my ankle kills, it feel like I broke it.” And he knows he isn’t making any sense considering he’s been sitting on the bench for the last 10 minutes.

Zayn looks out at the field where two players are helping a hopping Styles over to the benches then back at Louis who’s still gripping his ankle. His eyebrows inch together like caterpillars meeting in the middle for a kiss and then he shakes his head and looks over to Louis.

“I’ll grab you an ice pack.” He stands and heads over to the first aid bag and grabs the back breaking and shaking it until it’s cold and hands it to Louis who sets it on his ankle.

“Thanks.”

 

They win the game 2-1 just like they usually do and when they line up to slap hands with the over team down the line him and Styles sort of linger on one another only for a second longer than the others.

“Hope your ankle feels better.” Louis tells him as an electric shock runs through his whole body, concentrating on his own ankle.

“Thanks.” Styles whispers.

As they’re walking back to the bus Louis can see Zayn and Liam packing up their bags and Niall walking over to them making small talk like he always does with Zayn.

Louis gets on the bus and waits in the same seat him and Zayn sat on the ride over here. He looks out his slightly foggy window and pulls a sweater over his head not looking forward to the unheated bus ride home.

When everyone is finally back on the bus and it’s pulling away Louis looks out the window and see Niall and Styles standing on the edge of their field. His eyes widen as he hits the seat to get Liam and Zayn to look over to where he sees the curly haired boy glowing silver with blue specks twinkling throughout.

Niall is probably shouting confusedly by the way his mouth is moving around his words. His hands are flying wildly through the air as he probably questions how the hell Styles is glowing like that.

Styles just seems to shrug it off just like Louis had done.

“What the fuck.” Zayn says beside him.

They watch the two as they become smaller and smaller until they’re turning down a street and can’t see them anymore.

“You saw that right.” Louis turns and looks between Liam and Zayn.

They both nod.

The rest of the bus ride is spent in silence as they stare off into space. Zayn surely probably trying to figure out what the fuck just happened, Liam maybe doing the same or trying to figure out a logical reason for it and Louis is just so shocked by the whole thing but the buzz under his skin is on fire and comforting so he pulls his hood over his sweaty fringe and naps until they’re getting off the bus and heading home. 

★

They all sort of silently agree to not talk about the Glowing that they all saw.

Louis surely doesn’t think about it every night and wonder about what the hell it means and why the hell it only happened to him and fucking number 12.

He’s currently in History, chin in hand staring at the dust that reflects through the lights obviously not paying attention when Mrs. Bloomington calls his name.

“Huh?” He perks up and lets his hand fall on his desk.

“You have Plato.” She says deadpan like she’s having so much more fun than he is.

“This isn’t art.” He deadpans back, everyone laughs because he would.

“No.” He can tell she’s trying not to roll her eyes,” For your research project. You have to write a short paper on Plato the Greek philosopher.”

He groans.

“Glad you’re happy.” She replies and then gives the last two people in the alphabet their person bringing them to the bell.

Louis walks over to his locker to meet Zayn like they do every day to start they’re arse-freezing walk home.

“I have a project.” Louis whines the second they walk out of school.

“Me too. Who’ve you got?”

“Plato.”

“I’ve got Aristotle don’t worry.”

They walk to Louis’ in silence and once they’re inside and have ate about half of Louis’ cupboards they go to his room with the intentions of starting the research for their project when they both ‘accidentally’ end up passing out and taking a nap.

★

Louis doesn’t end up doing his research until the night before it’s due.

Mrs. Bloomington told them they needed to have drafted research into her before they did they’re papers because she wanted to make sure they were actually working on their papers.

He opens up his laptop, brings up Google and types in Plato. He clicks on the first few links that show up and writes down the basic stuff that they need to know: birthday, death date, married, kids, job, etc. He looks back over to the rubric that Mrs. B gave them and under the “needs” category it says ‘one important finding or significant/interesting thing that they were involved in.’

He groans why do teachers have to make things so difficult?

He scrolls down the site he’s already on until he comes across something that makes him double take. It’s something called the “spilt-apart” theory where it’s said that each human originally had two sets of legs, arms, and two faces but then Zeus ended up punishing them for having too much pride splitting them apart leaving the two halves yearning and searching for the other.

He Googles the theory itself and spends almost two hours reading about soulmates.

Each time he clicks on some other theory his heart beats faster and faster his chest warming over in the firelight glow.

He closes his computer when the clock hits 12:30 and heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and when he sees himself in the mirror he nearly chokes on his toothpaste. He’s glowing again just like on game day a week ago.

He takes a picture, toothbrush hanging out and glow surrounding him like a bubble and sends it to Zayn _its back._

He doesn’t get a reply until just before he closes his eyes _have to talk to you about that. think I found something on it._

He doesn’t get to answer before his eyes are closing and he’s drifting off to dream about a list of dates for the following new year: 2009.

★

The next day after school when Louis and Zayn are sitting in Zayn’s room for a change Zayn draws out,” Sooo.”

“Sooo.” Louis replies knowing what conversation is about to happen.

“I think I know what ‘you have.’” He air quotes because there really isn’t anything wrong with him he’s just different.

Louis looks at him expectantly.

“Okay so here me out first it’s a little farfetched.” Zayn starts,” So I was doing research last night on Aristotle and came across this thing that he thought about soulmates but they’re not actually soul mates.”

Louis’ eyes go wide because _really_?

“Listen listen before you like freak out or something. It’s this thing called singular soul and it’s like one soul but it’s spilt between two people? So like you literally need the other half to complete yourself. I got curious because that’s actually pretty cool so I looked deeper into it and I found one other ‘case’ like yours from like the 1960’s. Like this girl was glowing fucking green but it would only happen sometimes and she mentioned this like constant feeling or like dreams that turned out to be pieces of the other persons’ life.” He looks at Louis like he’s implying something,” Sound familiar at all?”

Louis’ mouth drops; he wordlessly gets out his black notebook from his bag and shoves it into Zayn’s hands. Zayn flips through the pages, his eyes getting comically wide and mouth hanging lower and lower with each page.

“It’s always been there.” Louis squeaks,” Like this buzzing and I just figured it was normal or something. And I found a soulmate thing last night too that Plato theorized. This thing called spilt-apart.” Zayn looks up and nods at him to say that he knows what he’s talking about.

“So what else did the ‘case’ say?”

“Well,” He looks up from the book,” Basically when you’re close to your other half you glow for the most part but you’re not supposed to like engage one another until a certain point in time.”

“When’s that?”

“It didn’t say really. All it said was that the girl just felt this uncontrollable attraction, think of like a magnet, to the other person at some point and they just basically found each other. Like literally they were in a corn maze and bumped into each other then they both glowed like lightbulbs for a minute or two and boom the glows merged and became one, shattering around them.”

Louis just nods and doesn’t say a word of what he’s thinking if you only glow in the presence of your other half.

★

 “You will never guess what I got.” Louis says down the line of the phone to Zayn.

He’s sitting on his bay window and looking out over the snow covered roads with the sky grey with the snow falling down. It’s peaceful and serene and so so so pretty. The street lights make the snow look warm under the yellow haze, like even though it’ll give you frostbite it might just cuddle you at the same time.

It’s late, about 1 am on Christmas Eve.

“What?” Zayn asks through a yawn.

“Concert tickets.” Louis says smug.

“Dude, for who?” Zayn says like it’s shocked him awake.

“The Script.” Louis informs him,” I’ve got two so I was wondering if-“

“Yes. Yes I will come with you.” Zayn cuts him off.

“Oh. I was gonna ask you to watch the girls while me and my Mum went.” Louis says nonchalantly.

“Oh.”

“I’m kidding you idiot yes you’re comin’ with me.” Louis laughs and rolls his eyes fondly.

“Tosser.” Zayn says just as fondly, along with a yawn.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Lou, I’m gonna pass out.”

Louis yawns,” Yea me too. Talk to ya later.”

“See ya.”

★

When they arrive at the venue Louis is buzzing with excitement and the constant electricity that’s always under his skin.

It seems a little stronger making his heart race with anticipation of _is today the day?_

They’re standing in line to enter the venue when Zayn nudges Louis,” Lou, you’re glowing.”

They still haven’t figured out why only Louis, Zayn, Styles and Liam could see him glowing that game day months back but this time it’s even weirder because there are _thousands_ of people standing around not noticing the boy with the golden-emerald glow around him.

He smiles big and bright like the sun at noon or a fully lit moon.

Zayn rolls his eyes at him and hands the old, plump lady with the purple lipstick his ticket to scan.

 

When they get to their seats Louis is ecstatic with everything ever it feels.

He’s glowing slightly brighter but it’s a soft glow nothing like the first time where it was like he was fire. He can hear his heart in his ears and feel it beating through his ribs. He looks over to Zayn with his quaffed hair that he just started styling like that and smiles.

He nods because he understands but then he shakes his head because maybe he really doesn’t.

 

Louis belts the lyrics to every song and feels the bass under his feet as it thumps through the floor. He looks over the crowd when a slower song comes on to see a sea of fairy lights from cameras and phones.

He sways on his feet moving along like a tide in the ocean.

“I wish everyone could see you man because you’re way brighter than those flashes.” Zayn whispers into his ear.

Louis rolls his eyes.

“Someone else has got to be glowing too.” Zayn inquires then starts to curiously look around the venue which is useless in and of itself.

Louis nudges Zayn with his hand,” Don’t seek it out, it has to happen in time.” He says philosophically.

The song switches to Zayn’s favorite so instead of a response he’s shouting lyrics into Louis’ face.

★

Zayn flops onto Louis’ bed and looks at the ceiling.

“What’s up?” Louis asks because he can clearly see how Zayn’s face is drawn up in thought.

“It’s my mum.” He answers through a sigh.

“What about your mum?” Louis prompts as he spins in his computer chair.

“She’s making me try out for x-factor said ‘you have a voice why not just try.’” He higher his voice to one that sounds nothing like his Mum but Louis gets it.

“I was actually thinking about trying out.” Louis inquires.

Zayn bolts up like one of those people waking up from a scary dream in a horror film,” Were you going to tell me?” He asks scandalized.

“Well yea I was gonna tell you today actually so.” Louis’ stopped spinning so now he and Zayn are just looking at each other.

“Well.” Zayn says.

“Well I guess were doing this.” Louis finalizes, and yup he guesses they are.

★

Thanks to Zayn on audition day they’re almost late.

It’s not really his fault Louis could say but it is because he slept late but he always sleeps late. Basically it should’ve been expected is what he’s trying to say.

When they finally get there there are sooo many people Louis nearly turns around and leaves because,” How are we supposed to stand out with all these people?” He whispers nervously into Zayn’s ear.

Zayn shrugs and sticks his sticker with his audition number on it on his stomach.

Louis follows behind him and smiles at the lady behind the table as she hands him the same sticker but with a different number.

Waiting in the line is the worst part because it just gives him a whole lot of excuses to think and over-think what they’re about to do but then he settles for the good ole ‘fuck it’ and ‘why the hell not’ mottos and slightly calms down until-

“Louis.” Zayn says so lowly that if Louis weren’t standing right in front of him and watched his thin lips move around his name he wouldn’t have noticed. His tone is nervous, sympathetic and curious. He has a small tug of smile playing on his lips when he says,” How’re you feelin’?”

Louis looks at him confused until he closes his eyes and breaths in. It hits him like a fucking plane has crashed down on him and he was on an island and now he’s drowning or something like that because he can’t breathe with how strong the _feeling_ inside of him is.

He feels like there’s about a million stars exploding throughout his veins, new universes being created with a big bang in his chest where his heart is. He’s warm everywhere from the top of his head to his little toe.

When he opens his eyes he literally gasps for air and looks at Zayn with wide blue eyes. Zayn smiles one of the brightest smiles Louis has ever seen him give and whispers,” You’re glowing Lou.”

Louis doesn’t even look at his hands because he can feel it wrapping around his limbs and coursing through his veins, deep in his bones carving valleys for someone else to fill up.

“Lou.” His mum comes over and looks at him with soft concerned eyes.

He looks at her waiting for her to go on.

“You good?” She asks.

He smiles,” Never been better.”

★

 “No fucking way.” He whispers mostly to himself when he sees Number 12 sitting on a stool getting interviewed. His hair is a little curlier than when they first met, and he’s gotten taller too, not taller than Louis but still probably the same height.

“ _Mouth_.” Jay scolds.

“What?” Zayn questions and tries to follow Louis’ line of vision through the crowd to see what he’s looking at.

Louis rolls his eyes in disbelief but looks back to Zayn, smiles like a lighthouse leading a ship home and shakes his head.

“Nothing.” He chuckles, his heart flutters involuntarily.

He doesn’t even need Zayn to tell him he’s glowing brighter because he just _knows_.

★

Zayn obviously makes it through because his voice was made for singing with the smooth way it twists around words and hits the highest of notes, but Louis on the other hand is so nervous that his voice isn’t strong enough he could puke.

“What if I don’t make it.” He says to Zayn back stage.

“You will don’t worry.” Zayn gives him a hug as Dermot shows Louis out onto the stage.

When he’s facing the judges his heart rate must pick up about 1000 times faster because he can feel it’s every beat in every part of his body.

When he finishes answering their questions he centers himself, closing his eyes and taking one deep breathe. He concentrates on the buzz that’s always been there for him since he can remember. He focuses on it as it wires through him.

He opens his mouth and sings, gets four yeses and nearly cries when he falls happily into Zayn’s arms.

★

“I gotta run to the loo.” Louis says as he jogs down the corridor about 10 minutes after his audition. They’re going out to celebrate at some restaurant Louis’ mum has found.

He walks in, pees, then splashes water on his face after he’s washed his hands.

He’s in awe with it all. He just cannot believe, even start to imagine, that’s he’s actually got somewhat of a chance in this thing. And sure it’s only auditions but it’s _something_.

While he stands there drying his hand and looking over himself in the mirror to make sure he looked acceptable for national television is when he notices the glow around him getting brighter and brighter and brighter. The green flecks that glitter throughout the glow start to glow as well, brighter like pieces of sea glass in sunlight.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion because a lot of strange things have happened to Louis in the last two years or so but this has never happened.

The door opens a second later and literally what the fuck.

He watches himself in the mirror as the glow fully dims and gets pretty much sucked into his body like it’s hiding from someone, almost like a turtle in his shell. He’s pretty much learned not to think too hard about these things because there really isn’t ever an explanation to be given so he shrugs to himself.

When he looks up and sees, of all people, Number 12 standing behind him he’s really not all that surprised.

He walks over to the sink and looks at Louis, hides a smile between bitten red lips and starts to splash water on his face.

Number 12 takes a shaky breath after he’s finished splashing the water and pushes back his curls.

“You were really great.” Louis assures with a, what he hopes, warming smile. He isn’t lying. He had watched as the boy belted out the lyrics to _Isn’t She Lovely_ with such confidence and conviction and not to mention he could win half of the women population with those curls and adorable baby face.  

“You too.” Number 12 squeaks shyly.

For some god awful reason Louis tugs him into a hug and mutters,” You’ll be fine don’t even worry about it.”

After pulling away he smiles again and pats the younger boys’ cheek just before turning around and heading out the door.

★

Bootcamp is a rushing of performances and being thrown into groups of three, being separated from Zayn and just it’s so much that Louis doesn’t even realise the glow hasn’t really left him since they arrived here.

Zayn rushes over to him during lunch with big brown eyes bugging out of his head,” You’ll never believe who’s here.”

“Who?” Louis takes a bite of his sandwich, classic turkey, amazing.

“Liam.” Zayn hisses.

“No fucking way! Where?!” Louis asks peaking over Zayn’s head trying to spot the Justin Bieber haired boy.

“Don’t look.” Zayn covers his eyes with his hand.

“What? Why?” Louis asks then it dawns on him,” Zayn.” He tries not to laugh.

“Ugh.” Zayn groans.

“It’s alright dude.” Louis pats his shoulder and a second later Liam is waltzing over to them with a wide smile. Louis laughs, Zayn drops his head onto the table.

Ahh Zayn with a crush is wonderful.

★

Louis would say he didn’t believe it but really he’s immune to anything at this point in his constant buzz, glowing-self life but to say that he isn’t upset when his name isn’t called is an understatement.

He briefly sees Harry walk off the stage as well with tear swollen eyes and resists the urge to run over and hug him. He shakes his head and finds Zayn backstage with slumped shoulders. He briefly wonders about Liam as he stands slumped in front of Zayn.

“Well.” Louis says through a sniffle.

Zayn nods then looks up to him with wide eyes just like every other time.

“Are you serious?” Louis whines and throws his head back he’s not in the mood for this,” Right now of all fucking times.” He spits.

He can vaguely hear an Irish tilt shouting about something down the corridor but then a person with a headset and clipboard are calling for the boys group to get backstage and reading off Louis and Zayn’s name along with Liam, Harry (which ends up being Styles) and Niall Horan who Louis did not know was also here.

Small world huh?

They’re brought back on stage and when Louis chances a glance over at Harry his eyes go so wide he’s worried they’ll either get stuck that way or fall out of his head and roll away. Harry’s got that silver bubble with blue glitter around him again, just like on game day.

He nudges Zayn who hisses as they wait for the judges to start explaining to them what the hell is going on and looks pointedly in Harry’s direction. Zayn’s eyes do a double take and before they know it all five of them are glancing between Louis and Harry who are staring very wide eyed at each other.

That’s when Simon and Nicole announce that these two groups of 4 girls and 5 boys are too talented to let go of and they would like to put them through as two separate groups. Louis registers a hand squeezing his shoulder. He doesn’t need to look to know its Harry.

When it registers to them, they all nod and Harry says they would like to take this opportunity and then Nicole is congratulating them. Louis is drawn towards Harry like they’re two magnets. He picks him up off the ground, Louis wraps his legs loosely around the boys thin hips as Harry spins them around.  

He’s not sure what it is but he feels this click inside of him like something’s just locked into place.

When Harry puts him down and he opens his eyes he can see that their two bubbles have shattered around them. It’s almost like they were shields as if to warn people that they were already claimed by someone and not to go near them, even if they didn’t really _know_ each other or _belong_ to each other yet.

Louis makes quick eye contact with Zayn who’s smiling so wide and then throwing himself into Liam’s arms for a hug. Niall joins them, wrapping his arms around the two of them.

Louis thinks for a second that even if they were five strangers that came together in a totally different universe that they’d still end up this way. Heck he thinks, no knows, that in ever universe out there the five of them would somehow end up together and that he and Harry would end up together. They aren’t actually _together now_ Louis knows but he sort of shrugs it off because they both just _know._

★

That night just before Harry is dragging him off to celebrate he grabs his black notebook that has pretty much grown up with him. Opens to the next available page, which is comically the last, and scribbles the date across the top.

He thinks for a moment of what to write, how to explain how fucking great it feels to have that glow gone and buzz finally dying down because he’s found the person that completes the circuit inside of his body and fill the valleys in his bones.

“Come on.” Harry whines from the doorframe. Louis looks up to him with a smile on his lips and cheeks appeling so hard he’s scared his face might crack in two.

He scribbles _found him_ on the page then closes the notebook.

It should feel like an ending but it’s not, it’s just the beginning. 

**Author's Note:**

> i've been uploading a lot of stuff lately i think i should get a hobby or something. 
> 
> kudos and comments always appreciated .x


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